My Attitude Made the Difference

Many years ago, while living in Europe, I had an unusual experience that brought me some spiritual insight that has influenced my life for good ever since. 

 

As I recall, this took place during my first meeting with our bishop after I was sustained as the new ward Relief Society President. As I came into his office, I was greatly surprised to see that he had written quite a few names of sisters on the blackboard. He explained that their arrangement showed how he thought their visiting teaching assignments should be organized.

An Answered Cri de Coeur

The anguished cries of my three-year-old grandson, combined with a statement by Dostoyevsky and hymn lyrics by Isaac Watts, prompted me to ponder how we can discover and attain our deepest desires. 

While visiting the family of our youngest son some years ago, the adults in our group were startled one evening by the sudden, impassioned crying of our three-and-a-half-year-old grandson, David. He was apparently having a nightmare. Our daughter-in-law attempted to calm him with soft words and rocking, but he continued to cry out and talk nonsense which related to what he was dreaming.

She carried him downstairs to join the rest of us, and mentioned that this sort of thing had happened before. Once David was fully awake, she assured us, he would calm down. For a couple of minutes he continued to wail and display deep distress, despite his mother’s efforts to awaken and reassure him.

Maintaining Trust When God’s Ways Seem Inscrutable, Part 2: Reflection vs. Reality

“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” I Corinthians 13:12 

In the verse above, from a letter the apostle Paul wrote to the relatively new church members in Corinth, he used an analogy that was particularly meaningful to them when he described how we  understand God and his ways. That analogy becomes clearer for 21st century English speakers if we know that the words translated into English as “glass” and “darkly” have slightly different meanings in the original Greek. “Glass” meant a looking-glass, or mirror, many of which were manufactured in Corinth out of polished brass. Those mirrors often revealed a distorted or discolored image of the thing being reflected. The Greek words translated as “darkly” meant “in a riddle or puzzle, by an enigma.”[1]  Paul’s analogy helped the Corinthians resolve questions that were creating disunity in their congregation. I believe it can help us, in our day, to deal with questions about spiritual matters that some find puzzling, or even disquieting.

Strength through Submission

The following is a revised version of a post originally published on  “A Prayer of Faith”  6 July 2006.  It was inspired by Elder Henry B. Eyring’s talk “As a Child” delivered in the LDS General Conference of April 2006:

From the time I was a child, foreign languages fascinated me. Growing up, my father taught me some Esperanto and a few German phrases; and after dabbling in Latin and Spanish in high school, I decided to take on the challenge of Russian at Brigham Young University. Soon after beginning my study, I began to have an intense desire to visit Russia—to see for myself the land of Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninov, Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky, which was then under the iron rule of Communism. This was back in the early 1960’s, when the Soviet Union under Khrushchev routinely issued dire threats to the free world, but welcomed the chance to earn dollars by conducting carefully chaperoned showcase tours for Americans.

I was thrilled when BYU announced that they would be participating for the first time in a Russian summer study program. I immediately applied, was accepted, and started saving money for the trip. I obtained a passport. My whole family sacrificed to help fund my study abroad experience, and I was elated at the opportunity to realize my dream.

Getting it Right

Inspired by a post originally published on “A Prayer of Faith” 12 October 2006

Sometimes I think that the main reason why we have computers is to help us develop one of the most important virtues for a Latter-day Saint woman: patience.

Back in 2006, I got a new laptop computer to replace my old built-in-a-third-world-country-and-updated-over-the-years PC. I was able to transfer everything I wanted to keep, and all was well—except that on my new laptop, my preferred software for copying my music CDs to my hard drive now gave me an error message: I couldn’t copy and save anything in the MP3 format, because for some unknown reason there was supposedly no MP3 encoder on my computer. After following a lengthy series of links to other messages, I finally reached one that told me to contact my computer manufacturer.

Through the fascinating procedure called “remote connect,” the technician I was speaking to on the telephone was able to view what I could see on my monitor. He could then direct me verbally and by drawings that appeared on my screen, so that together we could discover why my software was not functioning properly, and exactly how to correct the problem.

After about half an hour of interaction with the technician, I was told to change just one letter in an entry in the Windows registry, and from then on the program worked perfectly. Just one wrong letter kept a program from doing what it was designed to do.

That set me thinking. How often do I fail to live up to my potential, or fail to be an effective instrument in the Lord’s hands, because I have put off repenting of just one small sin; or neglected to open my heart to the influence of the Spirit. Am I letting pride or selfishness keep me from doing what I was designed to do, or being what I was designed to be as a daughter of God?

I was very pleased to allow a qualified technician access to my computer so that he could guide me through a diagnostic procedure until I could rectify the error on my computer. Am I as willing to allow the Lord to help me discover and correct the errors in my actions, my attitudes, or my thinking? Do I take full advantage of the divine “remote connect” available to me through prayer and Scripture study?

Getting a computer problem fixed often takes considerable time and patience. Getting our spiritual glitches corrected obviously requires a lot more time and patience. I hope I can remember that more peace and joy will come into my life as I accept correction and make the changes I need to. Because of the Atonement of our Lord, eventually “getting it right” is indeed a reachable goal.

Saying "Thy Will Be Done" in Advance

Almost twelve years ago, my daughter Julie became aware of how seriously Alzheimer's disease had affected her grandmother's memory and personality. She, along with several other relatives, visited her in a care center where she was recovering from a serious fall. I was living abroad at the time, on a mission with my husband, and in answer to a letter from my daughter I wrote the following:

Dear Julie,

We appreciated your information on the visit to see Grandmother in the care center on the day of the [family] reunion. I am grateful that you understand things the way you do. I feel the same way. It certainly is terribly sad to see Grandmother suffer, and to realize that she will probably soon leave this mortal existence. But she is ready to go, and she seems to be trying her best to be brave and endure whatever she needs to right now.

We talked to Uncle [D] Friday, and he said that he thought that it was an eye‑opener for most of the grandchildren to see her as she was. He mentioned that perhaps many had not realized the extent to which Grandfather stage‑managed visits when he was present to help her deal with her Alzheimer's disease. Apparently she has times when she is more lucid than others, and times when her memory is sharper than others. (Michael said that his visit with her on Tuesday went well, and that she remembered their conversation when he talked to her on Thursday). But her short term memory is definitely unreliable, and seems to be deteriorating rapidly.